If this were just about how pretty she is...

She sent me a front cam video yesterday. I open it &… She makes my heart go ‘ba-dump’ with that video. I do wear a pink watch, but I never knew I liked the color this much. She’s all soft hues and warmth—baby-face, baby pink lips, matching fingernails. Are her cheeks blushing pink too? I’ve seen beautiful people before, but she is bonita, she is bella, they also call her Schön, and she is undeniably 美しい.

Her brown eyes pull me in—warm, deep, impossible to look away from. They hold a softness, like she sees the world in the gentlest way, and for a moment, I wonder if they see me too. Her hair looks pretty, falling in place just right, yet I could possibly brush it aside if I wanted to kiss her. Would she tilt her head ever so slightly, making it even easier? The thought alone makes my heart race.

As I type this, my heart pounds faster because I have her video on loop beside my laptop. It’s like she is looking at me with that pretty gaze as I contemplate her smile—it could pierce through my heart & take me by surprise. I love the way she has tucked her palms inside her jacket sleeves—cuteee. I imagine holding her hand like that, feeling the soft fabric between my fingers as I pull her a little closer. Her nose—I want to boop it just to see if she’d react, if she’d scrunch it up or peek her tongue out like a reflex. Maybe she’d swat my hand away with a laugh, or maybe, just maybe, she’d play along.

I don’t know when she became my favourite distraction, but here I am, lost in the thought of her again. Do I have a crush on her?

I wish she wasn’t a million miles away. The distance between us feels unfair. If she would let me, I want to smooch attack her all over the face; although I do admit I might have already done so over the screen. My eyes have traced her features enough times that if pixels could carry touch, she’d already know.

No one should have the right to be this cute.